I need you
by sourpunch45
Summary: Meredith and Mark got together. Even though Derek is still with Addison he can't handle the fact that they are together. This leads him to ask himself if he made the right choice. Rated M for future content.
1. Chapter 1

Meredith sat at Joe's bar throwing back shot after shot of tequila. Seeing Derek and Addison strolling around the halls of Seattle Grace was way harder than she thought it would be. It left a big hole in her. One that she felt would never be filled no matter how hard she tried. She was in love with Derek she hated him and herself for it but couldn't get herself to stop. Meredith was truly broken, Derek had messed her up so bad she felt like she was going to be ripped apart every time she laid eyes on the man.

She felt the form of a human male pressed against her back and she turned around.

"Hey sorry I bumped into you. I'm Mark Sloan by the way", and attractive guy said.

Meredith smiled. "Would you like to buy me a drink?"

In answer, he sat on the barstool next to her and ordered one shot of tequila and one shot of gin. They downed them and started to flirt. After what seemed like an hour Mark leaned in and kissed her. He as an amazing kisser but somehow thoughts of Derek flew into her mind. Needing to be closer to Mark and farther away from thoughts of Derek she took his hand and led him out of the bar, to her car, to her house, and into her bed. After they both had orgasmed she realized that even though it was Mark in her conscious mind, Derek was the one she had been imagining subconsciously.

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The next day, having had breakfast and realized that they worked at the same place Meredith and Mark drove to work in Meredith's car since Mark had left his at Joe's. On the way in, Mark grabbed Meredith's hand. As they passed through the hall on their way to the elevator, everyone stared at them with shocked looks on their faces. They stepped into the elevator and the door was almost closed when Derek stopped it. Staring at them with a shocked look on his face, he stepped inside.

"What the hell?", he asked.

"What do you mean what the hell we are just in the elevator", Mark answered.

"Are you seriously with him now?", Derek turned to Meredith.

"Hey you don't get to do this to us you were the one that chose Addison. You didn't choose me so you have no control over who I choose to be with".

"Are you aware that he's ass of an ex best friend that had an affair with my wife?".

"Wait just let me explain you were never there for her so she needed someone", Mark interrupted.

"Well Mark proved himself trustworthy last night. If you will excuse us we need to go or we will be late", Meredith grabbed Mark's hand and stormed out of the elevator.

If she had bothered to look behind her she would have seen Derek looking longingly after them and Mark shooting Derek a smug look.

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Derek was standing on the bridge looking out over Seattle and thinking about his current problem. What the hell was Meredith doing with Mark? And what did she mean he proved himself trustworthy last night? A horrible answer to both questions clouded his mind. They had slept together last night. But Meredith wasn't stupid what could she possibly see in Mark? Well Mark was pretty damn charming, he could be manipulating Meredith into thinking he was some great guy that he wasn't. So Meredith was with Mark now. The guy who had destroyed his marriage and their friendship. The guy who he hated with all of his being. Suddenly Derek got an extreme urge to vomit as he thought about the fact that Meredith and Mark had slept together last night. He imagined Mark's hands all over Meredith's body as she arched into him. He envisioned Mark plunging into Meredith again and again. And worst of all he thought of Meredith's face twisted in pleasure screaming Mark's name as she came just like she used to do for Derek. Meredith was trembling and shaking and moaning all over Mark. That thought was the last straw as Derek rushed over to the nearest trash can and preceded to vomit violently into it. Is this what Meredith had to think about him doing with Addison whenever she looked at him? It was truly too much. He was surprised as his pager suddenly went off signaling him to report to the OR. He made his way up the stairwell and reached the OR. He was scrubbing in when Meredith walked in and began to scrub in also.

"So your sleeping with Mark now?", he asked in a hurt voice.

"He told you?", she asked.

" I kind of figured it out".

Derek stared at Meredith with hurt written all over his face.

"Seriously Derek what was I supposed to do? You are with Addison now. It's not like I can just pine for you all the time. You've clearly moved on and its time that I do too. And Mark walked into Joe's last night while I was downing tequila shots thinking about you and Addison. Being with him was the first time I have had my mind taken off of you for a long time. And it was something I needed. He's what I need to get over you and I would appreciate it if you could be happy for me. Or at least not make it so hard on us. I need to move on because there is simply no other option".

"Just so you know I'm not sleeping with Addison. Its not for lack of trying its just anytime we are anywhere close to sleeping together all I can think of is you and I don't want it to be that way. And its not that I don't want you to be with other guys. Its just Mark is not a good guy. He leads you on, manipulates you, and then breaks your heart."

"Derek no offense but when you chose Addison you sacrificed all rights to protect me. I have to take care of myself now because I can't rely on you. I'll just fall harder if that's even possible. I have to learn to be independent. I'm going to be really honest with you for a second. Its not because I want to hurt you I just need you to know. When you chose Addison it felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest. I'm just trying to learn to live without you and Mark can help me do that."

Just then Bailey walked in. She signaled for them to go into the operating room and for the rest of the operation, they were focused on the operation instead of their love lifes.

A/N: I hope you guys liked it! I am a new fan of Grey's Anatomy so I am only on the second season. However, I have heard a lot about Mark and got this idea. So Mark's character won't be very specific because he hasn't even been introduced into the show where I am yet. Anyway I am a huge MerDer fan. Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

Meredith, Christina, Izze, George and Alex were sitting at their usual lunch table discussing Mark.

"So when did it happen?", Christina asked.

"Well last night I was at Joe's and he bumped into me it just went from there", Meredith answered.

"Is it just me or do pick up almost every guy you meet at Joe's, its like Meredith Grey's personal hook up bar", Alex was sarcastic as usual.

Meredith's thoughts started to wander from here when she noticed Derek and Mark standing in the hall having a very heated argument. Derek looked extremely angry and Mark looked defensive and cocky. When Mark stepped nearer to Derek and punched him, it turned into a full fledged fight. They were rolling around on the ground punching each other anywhere that they could reach. Soon the other interns noticed the fight going on and started commentating on it. Meredith really didn't feel that she should get involved but she felt bad not to. Finally she convinced Alex to go with her to see if they could break it up. They strolled through the door and into the hall. Derek who had managed to get the upper hand stopped when he saw Meredith and Alex staring at them.

"What is going on here?", Meredith asked angrily.

"Mer I swear I didn't start it he punched me". Derek defended his actions.

"I saw what happened you guys were fighting and then Mark punched you but I would like to know what you guys were fighting about".

"It was nothing really". Derek hurried to reassure.

"Oh well you ex-boyfriend decided that it would be best if he told me everything you liked in bed, how you look when you come and everything you've ever tried on him. Obviously I didn't like this since you are my girlfriend and he is describing all of this stuff that I would really rather not know about". Mark explained.

"I just thought I better let him know how to take care of you correctly since I can't make sure that your needs are fulfilled". Derek defended again.

"Oh yea that's why you described how she moans when you flick her clit with your tongue. How her fingernails scratch down you back when you thrust into her".

"I was just trying to give you ways to know that you were doing it right".

"I can satisfy a woman just fine thank you very much".

"Stop it guys. Ok Derek you have no business telling Mark about my habits in bed if I feel that he doesn't know them I can show him myself. And Mark you need to grow up you can't just punch a fellow doctor in the freaking hallway!", Meredith yelled.

Meredith grabbed Alex's arm and dragged him down the hall and back to the cafeteria.

"What was with McDreamy fighting with McSteamy in the hallway?", Izze asked.

When Meredith ignored the question, Alex decided to answer.

" Well McDreamy decided that Mark wasn't fulfilling Meredith's sexual needs so he decided to give him pointers like how she looks when he's giving amazing oral and thrusting into her and all of these other details".

"Ooh that must have strangely turned you on", Christina teased.

Meredith would never admit to it but that was true. Worse though is that she was feeling a sudden need to just screw Derek just screw him until they both couldn't walk. It had been so long since she had seen him naked. She used to have every inch of his body memorized but she couldn't remember it all anymore.

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Derek knew what he had to do. He couldn't continue being married to Addison. It wasn't fair to her or Meredith. He was going to sign the papers. As soon as his shift was over he signed the papers and returned to the trailer where Addison was. When he handed her the papers she didn't look one bit surprised.

"I'm sorry Addison. Today I realized that since I can never love you as much as I love Meredith no matter how hard I try, its not fair to you for me to keep trying to force this when I just end up hurting you. I'm setting you free to be with someone who can truly love you. I am truly sorry that I can't."

"I know Derek, I know. Its ok to be perfectly honest I love Mark more than I love you we can't do this to each other anymore".

They both decided that it would be best for Addison to move her things out of the trailer. After Derek helped her move he knew that he needed to see Meredith.

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Meredith walked out of Seattle Grace with some serious thoughts on her mind mostly of Derek's naked body. Which she felt extremely guilty about because she was dating Mark. Just then Mark came up behind her.

"I'm sorry that I was a total jerk today", Mark whispered in her ear.

Turning around Meredith responded with "Mark maybe we jumped into this a little bit too soon. I need some time to think, I mean we didn't even really think about this before it started. I need to make sure that you are the guy that I want to be with. I just need some time ok?

He nodded and Meredith walked to her truck and drove home.

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Meredith was in her bed and thinking about Derek. He had inspired a thirst in her that only he could quench today. Well since she couldn't have him, she decided to go for second best. She stripped off her clothes and lay on her bed stroking her clit and imagining that Derek was the one doing it. When she reached one of the pleasure points that Derek had helped her find she moaned. Good thing George and Izze weren't home because she moaned loud. When she had reached her climax she clenched the sheets in her free fist and yelled "Oh Derek Derek!"

"You have no idea how hot that is", Derek said from the doorway.

"Oh God what the hell are you doing here?", Meredith quickly dressed leaving off her panties and bra in her hurry.

"You mean besides being completely unbelievably turned on? I came here to talk to you."

"About what? What sexual moves I like?".

"Your still mad about that?"

"You were just doing that to sabotage my relationship which is completely unfair".

"It wasn't the best thing to do but you have to admit it really turned you on".

"And you would know that because?"

"You seriously think I don't know what you look like when you are turned on?"

"I don't look different when I'm turned on".

"Really? So I'm guessing you look like you want to rip my clothes off all the time? And I'm also guessing you come home every day and scream my name while you orgasm? You're even turned on right now".

"No I'm not"

"You aren't wearing a bra and your wearing a tight white shirt its clear that your nipples are aroused".

"They are not."

"Prove it"

"What do you want me to rip off my shirt?"

"I can tell you want to but I'd rather do it"

"You're married so no you can't do it"

"I just signed the divorce papers. Thinking about satisfying you today made me need to satisfy you. I want you so bad its torturous not to be able to touch you right now."

"I'm taking time off with Mark so get over here and rip off my clothes already".

He pushed her backwards on the bed tearing her shirt off of her. He licked down her neck and swirled his tongue over her collarbone. She moaned.

"God its been so long since I've heard you moan for me"

He continued down to her breasts taking one nipple in his and teasing the other one with his fingers. She arched into him. He bit her nipple lightly at the same time as he pinched the other one. This caused her to release a yell from pleasure. He traveled down dragging his tongue about the waistband of her jeans. He unbuttoned them in a hurry and noticed that she was already completely wet. This made him easy to stick his finger up inside of her. Meredith hand was traveling down in the direction of her clit when Derek playfully smacked her hand away.

"One of the things I most want to do is flick your clit with my tongue and taste you. God I've missed your taste. I've missed every inch of your body".

When she was about to climax, she pushed him away slightly.

"Are you seriously going to change your mind when your about to come? Are you trying to torture me or something?"

"No just I need you inside of me right now. I seriously can't wait another second or I think I'm going to explode from need".

Derek stripped off his shirt and Meredith undid his zipper and pulled down his boxers noticing just how big his erection was. He pulled on a condom and thrust into her. He kept thrusting until he felt Meredith's walls clenching and she had an orgasm which triggered his own. Afterwards when she was laying in his arms and sleeping, Derek watched her sleep unable to believe how incredible lucky he was.

A/N: Sorry it took so long to update! I know it seems that everything's ok for MerDer but they still have a lot of struggles to go through! Please Review!


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